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Defining Success
posted in: Spiritual Reflections
The Stuff of Life
Saturday, November 22, 2003
As a bit of a reward for finishing all my arranging for next week's Christmas concert, I went to go hear Caedmon's Call and Jars of Clay last night. I rarely go to Christian concerts, and I only learned of the concert yesterday when reading the newspaper. But I do have the new Caedmon's Call CD in our car stereo and a recent Jars CD in the kitchen boombox, so I decided to go check it out. I was glad I did.
Both bands have been around about 10 years, and I've followed them both casually, although I've bought more of Jars CDs. I like the writing of both bands, their "sounds," and I always enjoy hearing what they have been hearing/learning from God. It's always good, honest stuff.
I used to dream of playing keyboards in a band like that when I was in high school. At the time, playing for Amy Grant would have been the pinnacle of success for me as a Christian musician. (And ironically enough, a good friend of mine has done just that, and much more...) But watching the bands play last night, I felt a sense of security that I was living the life God had for me, and although I have the musical skills to be a part of something like that, it simply isn't my call. And I am okay with that.
I think that's growth for me. I'm defining myself and "success" (or lack thereof) less by my talent or how famous I am, and more by what God thinks of me. I don't really envy the guys in those bands anymore; they have their callings, I have mine. They need to let their "little light shine" and so do I; that is worship, but it's God's to decide where it shines.
So I'm going to shine in Wichita, grateful for how God has gifted me, but knowing that my worth comes from my Father, not what I can do for Him. As I grow more secure in the love He keeps pouring into me, I am able to rest in that love, to trust Him and not think I have to win His approval, or try to become famous in the idolatrous hope that I will get my needs for love and acceptance met through audience admiration.
I do hope God will use me as widely as possible. I'd love to hear Jars do one of my songs. But my hope is in Christ, my Father's love for me, and in the power of His Spirit to transform into "something beautiful" as one Jars song put it so well.
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